PHIL'S ATHEIST BLOG
St.Arbucks Coffeeshop Cartoonist (© 2000)
"Atheists don't have a prayer..." P.C. Brewer
Yours truly has enjoyed teasing & taunting God-forsaken infidels for 20 years plus.
I chuckle and chortle at the expense of faithless atheists & agnostics--baiting them
with French Roast & cartoons scribbled on napkins.
And, at our Caffeinated Christian Clatches (our satirical St.Arbucks
Coffeeshop-Cartoonist's-
we have sniveling Ingersoll-type
Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens & their ilk.
Of course, we also relish satirizing historical cult leaders like Jim 'Chicken Guts' Jones, 'Sunnyboy Moon' (his followers are now 'mooning' him) & Rajneesh Bubba Free-John-Pay-Toilet--to Stalin, Marx, & Mao (along with any atheists & agnostics who wander into the cafe).
Everybody (whether Naturalist, Pantheist, Atheist, Marxist or Maoist) gets an original cartoon making fun of his or her goofy thinking & wrong-headed beliefs along with a copy of the story below during ('Gates of Hell' motif) cartoon-
Gotta admit it's fun to picture them all doin' the hotfoot...
...down there in H-E-double Hockey Sticks...heh-heh....
So many atheists--so little time..!
One atheist college professor yelled at me in class when he saw me reading my Bible,
"Hey, dummy White boy--what you doin'..?"
I said, "Crammin' for my finals!"
He screamed, "You must have an I.Q. of 5... There's NO absolutes..!"
I said, "Is that the TRUTH...?"
He pounded his desk, "ABSOLUTELY..!"
One atheist said, "Why aren't you an atheist..?"
I said, "No holidays..!
(But I followed up with, "Actually atheists DO have one holiday...it's April First.
You see, the Bible says, 'The fool has said in his own heart, there is no God...' ")
Nothing's more fun than attending an atheist's funeral--walking by the
casket--announcing in a loud voice,"Hey...what's funnier than an
atheist at his own funeral...heh-heh...all dressed up...with no place to go..!"
I asked one God cynic, "Hey--how long y'all been an atheist, boy...?"
He said, "God only knows."
I hooked up an ATHEIST DIAL-A-PRAYER line in my counseling office.
(The phone just rings & rings...but no one answers...heh-heh...)
____________________
AN ATHEIST AND A LITTLE GIRL
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on a plane
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on a plane
who was wearing a LET'S DUMP OH-BUMMER sweatshirt.
Irritated by the political slam on his hero, the atheist turned to her and asked,
"You wanna talk..? Flights go quicker if you chat with a fellow passenger."
The little girl who had just started to read a book replied,
"What do you want to talk about?"
"Oh I don't know," said the atheist"
How about why there is No God, or No heaven or hell
or No life after death," as he smiled smugly.
"OK," she said, "...those could be interesting topics,
but let me ask you a question first."
"A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same grass,
yet a deer excretes pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty,
but a horse produces clumps.
Why do you suppose that is?"
The atheist, visibly surprised by the girl's intelligence,
ponders over this for a long time. He finally says, "I have no idea."
The little girl says,
"Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God,
no Heaven or Hell or no life after death
...when you don't know Shit..?"
...And she went back to reading her book.
The atheist sat there grinding his teeth.
The little girl turned to him and said,
"Get used to grinding your teeth. Where you're goin'
the Bible says there'll be lotsa weepin' and wailin'
and gnashin' of teeth..."
PHIL'S ATHEIST BLOG
Copyright © 2012 by Philip C. Brewer
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