PHIL'S ATHEIST BLOG

St.Arbucks Coffeeshop Cartoonist (© 2000)

"Atheists don't have a prayer..."  P.C. Brewer

 Yours truly has enjoyed teasing & taunting God-forsaken infidels for 20 years plus.

 I chuckle and chortle at the expense of faithless atheists & agnostics--baiting them

with French Roast & cartoons scribbled on napkins.

And, at our Caffeinated Christian Clatches (our satirical St.Arbucks

Coffeeshop-Cartoonist's-Perfect-Blend-For-Latte-Villagers get-togethers),

we have sniveling Ingersoll-type infidels for breakfast--you know--like Bill Maher,

Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens & their ilk.

Of course, we also relish satirizing historical cult leaders like Jim 'Chicken Guts' Jones, 'Sunnyboy Moon' (his followers are now 'mooning' him) & Rajneesh Bubba Free-John-Pay-Toilet--to Stalin, Marx, & Mao (along with any atheists & agnostics who wander into the cafe).  

Everybody (whether Naturalist, Pantheist, Atheist, Marxist or Maoist) gets an original cartoon making fun of his or her goofy thinking & wrong-headed beliefs along with a copy of the story below during ('Gates of Hell' motif) cartoon-scribbling episodes.

Gotta admit it's fun to picture them all doin' the hotfoot...

...down there in H-E-double Hockey Sticks...heh-heh....

So many atheists--so little time..!

One atheist college professor yelled at me in class when he saw me reading my Bible,

"Hey, dummy White boy--what you doin'..?"

I said, "Crammin' for my finals!"

He screamed, "You must have an I.Q. of 5... There's NO absolutes..!"

I said, "Is that the TRUTH...?"

He pounded his desk, "ABSOLUTELY..!"

One atheist said, "Why aren't you an atheist..?"

I said, "No holidays..!

(But I followed up with, "Actually atheists DO have one holiday...it's April First.

You see, the Bible says, 'The fool has said in his own heart, there is no God...' ")

Nothing's more fun than attending an atheist's funeral--walking by the 

casket--announcing in a loud voice,"Hey...what's funnier than an

atheist at his own funeral...heh-heh...all dressed up...with no place to go..!"

I asked one God cynic, "Hey--how long y'all been an atheist, boy...?"

 He said, "God only knows."

I hooked up an ATHEIST DIAL-A-PRAYER line in my counseling office.

(The phone just rings & rings...but no one answers...heh-heh...)

____________________

AN ATHEIST AND A LITTLE GIRL

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on a plane

who was wearing a LET'S DUMP OH-BUMMER sweatshirt.

Irritated by the political slam on his hero, the atheist turned to her and asked,

"You wanna talk..?  Flights go quicker if you chat with a fellow passenger."

The little girl who had just started to read a book replied,

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Oh I don't know," said the atheist"

How about why there is No God, or No heaven or hell

or No life after death," as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said, "...those could be interesting topics,

but let me ask you a question first."

"A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same grass,

yet a deer excretes pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty,

but a horse produces clumps.

Why do you suppose that is?"

The atheist, visibly surprised by the girl's intelligence,

ponders over this for a long time.  He finally says, "I have no idea."

The little girl says,

"Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God,

no Heaven or Hell or no life after death

...when you don't know Shit..?"

...And she went back to reading her book.

The atheist sat there grinding his teeth.

The little girl turned to him and said,

"Get used to grinding your teeth.  Where you're goin'

the Bible says there'll be lotsa weepin' and wailin'

and gnashin' of teeth..."

PHIL'S ATHEIST BLOG

Copyright © 2012 by Philip C. Brewer

CULTBUSTERS!

"Hey...it's Kooks & Kool-Aid--or Your Kin..."

Cultbusting / Rescuing / Debriefing / Exit Counseling

"Who ya gonna call for God's sake...?"

Yeara ago, I started CULTBUSTERS!

I'd done a lot of Cult Exit Counseling (Children of God, The Way, The Walk, Moonies, Scientology, Mormons, the Mind Sciences & Modern Gnosticism, JW, 7th Day, Eastern Mysticism, Authoritarian Mind-Control, Charis-Magic Faith, EST, Faux Faith Healing, Eighth Street Commune, A Course In Miracles, Latter Rain, NLP, Transpersonal Psychology, Emersonian Transcendentalism, E. W. Kenyonism, Peoples Temple, T.U.L.I.P.ism, Papalism, Mariolatry), Dominion Theology, Superstitious Animism, Earth Mother Worship, PMA, Charismatic Clairvoyance, Late-Sixties-Early-Seventies-Radicals-Masquerading-as-Evangelicals, and Aberrations of Deliverance and Demonology (illustrated by the faux guidance of the book, Pigs In the Parlor by Frank & Ida May Hammond),

I'd read books by the following: Margaret Singer, Ph.D., e.g.: Cults In Our Midst, Dr. Jacques Ellul, e.g.: On Propaganda, Walter Martin, Ph.D., e.g.: Chaos of Cults, Ronald Enroth, Ph.D., e.g.: Churches That Abuse and Youth, Brainwashing, and the Extremist Cults, Robert J. Lifton, Ph.D. Mind Control, Brainwashing, and Totalism, Dr. Farah, e.g.: From the Pinnacle of the Temple, and other books, e.g.: How to Cult-Proof Your Kids, Toxic Faith, and The Subtle Power of Spiritual abuse--and had seen The Amazing Randy (albeit an agnostic magician himself) expose the faux healer, Peter Popoff, on The Tonight Show.

These days CULTBUSTERS! exit-counseling would include The Emergent "Millennials" Church Postmodern Aberrations, The Secret, Recycled Latter Rainism, Revivalist Charis-Mystical Subjectivism, Kansas City Prophets, Mega-Church Millenial Paradigm-Shiftrers, Pop Culture Groupies, Radical Fundamentalists, the Prophetess Movement, Intimate-Connection Spiritual Dancing, Eco-Green Radicals, Marxist-Maoist Lib Theology, and contemporary Thought Reform Authoritarians.

In the intial years there was no 'Deprogramming'' a la Ted Patrick...all of these folks were 'ego dystonic' in that they each signed off with notarization that they had each desired in compis mentis that they wanted out--desired a complete break from and mental healing from--their respective cult.  They would have ten Marathon Days (10:30am--3:30pm) of voluntary Christian-based-but-professional psychotherapy, counseling, and life coaching.  I saw very few 'reversions' and little recidivism after the ten Marathon Days, along with a follow-up treatment program.

After years of this (with no financial remuneration on my part), I thought about starting a fee-scheduled (or economically-sponsored) 'rescue, exodus, and spiritual wellness intervention program' named CULTBUSTERS!

A busy traditional counseling practice caused me to set this plan aside.

Now...I'm considering a jump start of CULTBUSTERS!

I still need to get it organized and get all the legal clearances, etc....a little like bounty hunters--or even car repo companies have to do...yet, our approach would be one of dignity, therapeutic wisdom, and professional respect for the individual--and for human rights.

There would be, of course, a Fee Schedule and up-front Retainer Fee, special insurance, and appropriate qualifiers and disclaimers--operated under a non-profit organization.

What think ye...?  Would you consider joining me in this important work...?  There is a great need for Life Coaches--trained to do Cult-Exodus Intervention.

(CULTBUSTERS!...It's a dirty job...but somebody's gotta do it...!)

Phil

"We Bust Cults Best...!"

CULTBUSTERS!TM

Spring Your Kin...Before They Drink the Kool-Aid!

"Who ya gonna call for God's sake..?"

P.C. BREWER & ASSOCIATES

Copyright 20 09 by Philip C. Brewer   All Rights Reserved